worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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