my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
