Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
