I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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