Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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