I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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