Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
