It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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