but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
