You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
