You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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