ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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