I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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