i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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