Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
it was like his penis was on wheels.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
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I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
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does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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