Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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