Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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