foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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