You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
