at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
