i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
