airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize