My cat gives me a boner
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize