She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
