I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
