Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
