Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
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I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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