Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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