Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
