there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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