I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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