Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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