Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
