This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
