Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize