I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
