its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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