a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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