it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
