Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize