My liver just broke up with me...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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