Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
