Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
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Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
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Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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