I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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