I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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