im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
