How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
