whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just saw a hot homeless man
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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