idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
