he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
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This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
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I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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