Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
