hell yes lets make some ravioli
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
