Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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