Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
