In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
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What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
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I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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