do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Randomize
