ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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