fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
