i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
