Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
sex in a hospital.. check
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
